Basically this is going to be a quick post, and a twosome one. It isn’t much early that I wanted to write this post; it is lately when I felt that if I don’t write it now, the next instance will be too late.
I get this curious hope that I’m marking time; that I’m waiting for something to happen before life could pick up a phase that I won’t be able to have a control on. A quieter and a slower phase, slower than this one too. I found myself talking to two people at a time, two faces – two very close people. I do it constantly; I do it for all time; I do it myself. One face is me, and the other looks like me, might be like ‘me few years back’ or something..? Well actually, yes.
It is so difficult to contain two different people, rather two different personalities, in just one being. This is the question that I’m trying to answer for past few years. Why so happens that we keep following a trajectory that we know is going to lead us to a certain point where things will all look totally absurd. We still follow ❤
I have followed the path myself for I guess no good. And then looking back doesn’t help either. When I look back, I see a blurred image of somebody who looks exactly like me – like she is observing me from a distance and is waiting to show ridicule for what I am today, the moment I turn back! And to add to it, she looks much happier, fulfilled than me. Her skin glows, eyes twinkle in joy unlike mine. And then what do I do? I hopelessly and with no efforts at all agree to whatever she has to say ❤
Recently she has become a friend. Last I remember what she said was “Listen! There aren’t any things like mistakes okay. The happenings we bring upon ourselves, no matter how disgusting, are required in order to learn what we are supposed to learn. You hence made that thing happen, the one that’s on your mind now! Don’t sit in remorse, and if you keep getting stuck still, take the reverse path or just break-out!”
..And I had to agree. And ever since then, I’ve developed a kind of gratitude for her – the one who looks like I once looked, stands where I once stood, wears what I once wore and speaks what I once spoke. Feels like she isn’t wrong in whatever she is saying ❤ I look back at the trajectory that I followed..I could only see dark pits of changes and compromises that really weren’t required. It all converges to a single dot-point, the flag of which is in her hand. The flag reads: “There isn’t a way ahead!” Like, that’s where the race ends taking a round-about. And I have to walk back.
If you too see someone like you far behind a trajectory route happier and more content, think and introspect – because it’s probably a time to take a round-about. It’s so difficult to know where and how to begin this return journey, but guess life is easier when lived without thinking two futile thoughts on one needed action. Something around is crap and hope I’ll be done through most of it rapidly.
While I’m here though I do just want to say thank you to everyone, both online and off-the blog, for all the admiration I’ve received over the last couple of months for my writings. It’s starting of a return journey now, and we all have to take it someday.
❤ – ❤